


Competition

by Grey (grey853)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 06:42:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/795016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey853/pseuds/Grey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim is upset when he finds out Blair is dating a man from his partner's past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Competition

## Competition

by Grey

Author's website:  <http://grey.ravenshadow.net/>

* * *

Title: Competition  
Author: Grey  
Fandom: TS  
Pairing: J/B, B/m  
Rating: NC-17  
Status: New/Complete  
Archive: Yes  
Email: Grey853@aol.com  
Series/Sequel: No  
Date: July 2001  
Website: <http://grey.ravenshadow.net/>

Disclaimer: Not mine. 

Summary: Jim doesn't like the competition when his partner gets serious about a friend from school. 

Notes: Thanks to Jenn aka XFreak for her constant support and friendship. 

Warnings: Blair's with another fellow and Jim's not happy. There's lots of angst to be had by all. 

Competition  
by Grey 

"Man, this sucks, Jim." 

Jim shrugged and finished fitting his gun to his belt. "I know, Chief, but it can't be helped. I have to get those files done by Monday." 

"But we've had this trip planned for weeks now." Blair stood by the window staring out, his arms crossed, the disappointment dragging down his whole posture. 

"I'm sorry. I know you wanted to go camping, but we'll go next weekend." 

"That's what you said last week." 

Clenching his jaw, Jim stepped closer, his patience wearing thin. "This isn't my fault." 

"I didn't say it was." 

"Sounds like it." 

Blair sighed and reluctantly met Jim's unhappy gaze. "I'm just disappointed, that's all. I know you didn't end up with the Patterson case on purpose." 

"You've got that right. What a fucking nightmare." Jim wiped his face with one hand, forcing away the evil visions that marched through his head. "I guess that's why it's so important that I make sure we've got him dead to rights. I don't want some lawyer getting his sorry ass off because I fucked up and didn't file the reports right." 

Blair patted him lightly on the arm. "That's not going to happen, Jim. You've got all the bases covered. I was just hoping we could get away from all this for a few days. It's been a rough couple of weeks." 

"Yeah, I know." Jim stepped away and headed to the door. He grabbed a light jacket and slipped it on to cover his gun. "Why don't we go out to dinner tonight? My treat." 

"It's Saturday night. Everything's going to be crowded and you hate waiting." 

"I'll book us a table at Ricardo's. It's not the same as cooking your own catch, but they do a mean Italian combo." 

Finally smiling, Blair nodded. "Sure, that'd be great. I can do combo." 

"Oh, I know you can." Hand on the knob, Jim hesitated. "You know, you could come with me and..." 

"Do all the typing? No, thanks, man." 

"It was just a suggestion." 

"Yeah, right." His partner laughed as he dropped down on the sofa. "I'm going to stay here and unpack, might even do the laundry. Then I guess I'll go to school for awhile. There are some things I can catch up on." 

"Sure. I'll make the reservations for seven, okay?" 

"Fine." 

"I should be home around five or five thirty." 

"Tell Simon he's a fucking slave driver." 

Jim chuckled as he headed off to the station, the tension eased, looking forward to a great night of good food and lively conversation with the man he most wanted to be with. 

* * *

Blair leaned back in his desk chair, chewing on the end of his pencil, his mind more focused on Jim than the books in front of him. He needed to get away with his partner, no cases, no papers, nothing to distract them from each other. A knock at the door interrupted his musings of how buff Jim looked when he wore his black tank top. His eyes focused on the tall, dark figure in the doorway. He smiled as he stood up to embrace his old friend. "Hey, Reggie, man. Good to see you." 

Strong arms hugged him back, a hand slapping him enthusiastically on his shoulder. "Good to see you, too, Blair. I've missed you." 

Pulling away, but still maintaining contact, Blair appraised Reggie's fine appearance with satisfaction. Close to six foot two, his ex-lover's well-muscled frame filled out the grey suit nicely. Golden brown eyes stared at him from an ebony face, the high cheek bones even more exotic when he smiled. "Jesus, man, you look great. How long have you been back in town?" 

"Just a few days. I tried to catch you a couple of times, but you've been out." 

"Yeah, I've been busy." Nodding, Blair pulled away and motioned to the chair near his desk. "Have a seat, man, and tell me what you've been up to. Last I heard you were over in Kenya." 

"Yeah, I finished my study several weeks ago. I've been in LA for the last month working on the finishing touches for my book." 

"Your book? Wow, that's great. Are you publishing your work on the strength of tribal organizations in a modern context?" 

Reggie laughed, the rumble deep and pleasing. "No, I'll save that for the professional journals. Actually, I've written a novel. It should be coming out in a few months if all goes well." 

Blair grinned and shook his head. "A novel? No shit? That's great. What's it about?" 

"Come to dinner with me tonight and you can hear all the details." 

"Sorry, Reg. I've got plans. How about tomorrow night?" 

"I've waited this long. I guess one more day won't kill me." Reggie sat back, his hands together in front of him as he gazed at Blair. "You look tired, my friend. What's been keeping you so busy?" 

Glancing away, suddenly uneasy with the scrutiny, Blair shrugged. "I've been working on a tough case with Jim. Some lowlife kidnapped and killed a kid, but not before he raped and terrorized the poor little guy." Pushing back a strand of hair behind his ear, Blair's voice wavered. "It's just hard sometimes." 

"Fuck. It's sounds horrible." 

"It is." 

"So you're still with Jim, huh?" 

"I'm not _with_ Jim, Reg. We're friends." 

Silence settled for several moments before Reggie's deep voice interrupted. "So, how's your mom? Still wandering all over?" 

Relaxing just a little, Blair nodded. "Yeah, she's in Tibet right now. What about your family? How's your mom doing?" 

"She's getting by. She asked about you last time I called. Wanted to know if I'd snatched up that pretty white boy yet." 

Heat flushing his skin, Blair laughed nervously. "Your mom's a trip, man. And I like her, too, by the way." His tone more serious, he added, "You're really lucky she's so comfortable about you being gay like she is." 

"Yeah, I know. Hell, half the time she's trying to play matchmaker. Every time I come home, she's got some new 'nice fella' for me to meet. She thinks I'm old enough to settle down now." Grinning slyly, Reggie leaned in, his hand finding its way to Blair's leg. "Little does she know, I have my own ideas about who I should settle down with." 

Scooting back, Blair smiled and playfully slapped his hand away from his thigh. "Come on, Reggie. We've talked about this. I don't think it's a good idea. We've done that. You're my friend now." 

"And you don't date friends?" 

"It just never worked out between us, that's all." 

Sitting up, his face more solemn, Reggie crossed his arms. "Blair, I love you. I've told you that before. If this thing with Jim were going to work out, you'd already be married to the man." 

"Leave Jim out of this." 

"That's a little hard to do since you're still living with him." 

"I told you before, it's not like that between us." 

"But you'd like it to be." 

"It's never going to happen." 

"So why not give me another chance? We were so fucking good together." 

Blair ran his hand through his loose curls, his mind wild, his cock voting furiously in favor of another free trial period with Reggie. Standing, he walked over to the far wall of his office and spoke quietly. "You mean we were good at fucking." 

"It was more than that to me, Blair, much more." 

"I know, but you wanted too much, man. I couldn't be what you wanted." 

"You're selling yourself short. Let's go out and talk about it. You owe me at least that much." 

"Look, I haven't dated a guy since I got involved with the cops. It's not exactly the easiest thing to do when I'm working so close to Jim." 

"Are you saying you're afraid they'll think you and Jim are a couple?" 

"I'm sure some already do. We've been together now for over three years. I don't want to give them any more ammunition." 

"And then there's Jim." 

Grudgingly, Blair nodded. "Yeah, and then there's Jim. I don't know how he's going react if he finds out about you." 

"He's homophobic?" 

"No, but he's got a lot of trust issues. I've never mentioned you before. He might take it personally." 

Reggie got up slowly and moved closer, his body pressing in against Blair, the heat incredible. He caressed Blair's cheek and kept his voice low and husky. "If he cares about you, he'll be happy you've got someone who'll treat you right." 

Throat tight, his body revving up from the familiar touches, Blair found words difficult. "And that person's you?" 

"Oh, yeah." 

Leaning in, Reggie captured his lips, his tongue vigilant and relentless. Coffee flavor washed Blair's senses, his own soft moans bringing his head back as he struggled to breathe. Using both hands, Blair pushed Reggie back slightly. "Enough, man. I can't do this here." 

"Then come back to my place. I rented a house not far from campus." Reggie leaned in and purred in his ear. "I dreamed of nothing but you for such a long time, Blair. Be with me. Please." He nibbled the lobe and ran a hand down between Blair's legs, his erection bulging the zipper. "Come on, baby. You know you want to. We'll be so good together again." 

His thoughts clouded with arousal, his lungs tight and his eager cock twitching, Blair surrendered. "I have to be home by five. Jim's taking me to dinner." 

Reggie smiled in smug satisfaction and kissed his jaw before licking his tongue along his neck. "And I'll take you to heaven." 

* * *

Blair sat up, nervous, his hands shaking as he pushed his hair out of his sweaty face. "I need to go now." 

A hand palmed his bare back. "You're so beautiful. Stay a little longer." 

Uncomfortable and feeling strangely guilty, Blair shook his head. "Thanks, but I can't. We can see each other tomorrow." 

"Promise?" 

"Sure." Blair grabbed his shorts and slipped them on before pulling on his jeans. He sat on the edge of the bed as he put on his shoes and socks. 

"Blair?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Maybe later this week we could go see my mom. She'd love to see you again." 

"Yeah, maybe. I'll have to wait and see." 

Reggie sat up and pulled the sheets over his lap as he studied his anxious companion. "It's not a mistake for us to be together." 

"I didn't say it was." 

"But that's what you're thinking." 

"You're not a mind reader, man. You don't know what I'm thinking." 

"Then tell me. You used to at least talk to me after we made love. Now, you can't get out of here fast enough." 

Blair stood up and reached for his tee-shirt. "That's not fair, Reggie. I told you I had plans." Suddenly defensive, Blair snapped. "I mean, I haven't fucking seen or heard from you in over a year. What did you expect, happily ever after?" 

"Don't be mad, man. I love you." 

"Shit. Don't do that." 

"Do what?" 

Blair sat back down on the edge of the bed, his anger gone, his hand taking Reggie's. "I can't stay pissed when you say shit like that." 

Smiling, Reggie squeezed his hand. "Good. That's my plan." 

"Plan?" 

"Yeah. I figure if I tell you enough times, you'll believe it." 

"I never said I didn't believe it." 

Reggie ran the back of his hand up along Blair's face, his touch loving and gentle. "Then prove it. Call Jim and cancel. Stay here and I'll show you just how much I mean it." 

Smiling, Blair stood up. "You're a stubborn man, Reggie Watters." 

"I am that." 

"I'll call you later tonight." 

Sinking back against the headboard, Reggie frowned. "Sure. Tell Jim hi for me." 

"Jim doesn't know about you." 

"Then you'd better tell him, babe, because I plan to pick you up tomorrow night for an evening of dinner and dance." 

"Dinner and dance?" 

"Oh, yeah. And then I'll top it off with kisses all over your gorgeous body before I fuck you until you scream for mercy." 

Blair snorted. "God, you're such a fucking romantic." 

"Bet your ass, babe." 

* * *

Jim frowned, his senses all twitchy. "Blair?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Are you wearing a new aftershave or something?" 

Flushing slightly, Blair poked at his salad. "No. Why?" 

"I just keep getting a whiff of something different." 

"I took a shower, man." Blair's teasing voice didn't quite hide the nervousness. 

"Is something bothering you? You've been acting kind of weird." 

"Weird?" 

"Well, weirder than usual. Did something happen at school?" 

Avoiding Jim's intent gaze, Blair shrugged and let his fork play tag with the lettuce. "I'm just tired." 

Nodding, Jim picked up his whiskey and downed the drink, the heat of the liquor a warm lick to his belly. "We're both tired, Chief, but Simon promised me we'll be free next weekend for sure. It'll be good to get away from this grindstone for a while, just the two of us." 

"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, man." 

"Good, so stop torturing that salad and put it out of its misery. Eat." Obediently, Blair ate, but remained quiet, too quiet to make Jim lose his suspicions. "Did I do something to piss you off?" 

Sighing, Blair put down his fork and frowned. "You didn't do anything, Jim, but there is something bothering me." 

"What?" 

"I should probably wait until we get home." 

"Why? Is there a problem?" 

"No, not really, it's just an old friend dropped by today. We spent the day together. I guess you could say we're sort of dating again." 

"And why does that bother you?" 

"It doesn't. I'm worried because I'm not sure how you're going to react when you meet him." 

The world stilled around him, the air not moving for several long seconds. Finally, Jim breathed and kept his voice level. "Him?" 

"Reggie Watters. We were together four years ago, long before you and I met." 

"So, what happened?" 

"He wanted to settle down. I didn't." 

"You left him?" 

"It was a mutual decision." 

"But he's back and wants to try again?" 

"Something like that, yeah." 

"I see." Jim struggled against explosion, his head pounding. Rubbing his temples with one hand, his eyes squinted against the jumpy brightness of the lights. It took time to work words through a stubborn throat. "You never said anything." 

"There was never a reason." 

"But there is now?" 

"Yeah. I think I might be ready now." 

"Ready for what?" 

"For more than what I had before." 

Shit. "I can smell him all over you." 

"I told you we were together all day." 

"Fucking." 

"Jim, come on, man." 

Jim closed his eyes, his elbows on the table, his hands in front of his face. "I'm sorry, Blair, I shouldn't have said that." 

"You're right. You shouldn't have. Are you okay?" 

Sitting back, Jim gathered himself together, closing down the ache vibrating through his gut. "I'm fine. I just wish you'd told me." 

"It was never an issue before. I haven't dated any guys since Reggie." 

"I'm not talking about you dating guys." Jim clenched his jaw as he leaned in, his voice still edgy, but more quiet. "You know about Carolyn and Lila and every other woman I've ever cared about. You never once mentioned this guy. I thought we were closer than that." 

"I just didn't see the point." 

"You didn't see the point?" 

"No. To be honest, I thought it was over between us." 

"What changed that?" 

Shaking his head, Blair pushed back his hair in frustration. "I honestly don't know, Jim. He came by today and it was like I couldn't resist him. It was just so nice to have someone to be with." 

"To be with? Shit, Sandburg, what's that supposed to mean? You're not alone for godsakes. You're with me." 

"Calm down, man, I just meant..." 

"I know what you meant. We don't fuck so it doesn't mean shit between us." People at nearby tables turned at the commotion as Jim stood up, knocking back the chair. He took out his wallet and threw several twenties on the table. "Pay for the meal and call a cab. I'm leaving." 

"Jim, please, don't be like that. Let's talk about this." 

Jim didn't answer, his head spinning, his heart making too much racket in his chest. He slammed out of the door of the restaurant, fumbled for his keys, and headed to the truck. He climbed in, letting his head rest on the steering wheel. He hadn't been sucker punched so hard since the night Carolyn asked him for a divorce. Shit. He hated this awful, gaping pain inside him. 

The door opened and Blair climbed into the passenger's seat. "Jim, we have to talk." 

Lifting his head, fatigue licking his bones, Jim shook his head. "I don't want to talk, Chief. I'm an asshole. It's nothing to me who you sleep with." 

"Obviously, that's not true." Blair's hand gently touched Jim's arm. "Drive us home, man. We can fix this." 

"What's to fix?" 

"Whatever's broken." 

* * *

Neither man said a word throughout the entire drive home. Riding up in the elevator, Jim refused to make eye contact. Once inside the loft, he pulled off his jacket and loosened his tie. He stepped to the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. "Want one?" 

"No, thanks." 

Twisting off the cap, Jim tossed it away and took a long swallow. He walked to the window, his back to Blair as he stared out. "Tell me about him." 

"Do you really want to know?" 

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't." 

Blair sighed and sagged down on the sofa, his elbows on his knees, his hands fisted together. "He's got his doctorate in cultural anthropology. His main area of study is tribal traditions, particularly in Africa. His mother's name is Ester and she cooks great cornbread and any kind of bean you can imagine. His sister's name is Georgie and she's an elementary teacher here in town. His brothers are Melvin and Joseph and they're both musicians. Melvin plays bass in a jazz band and Joseph works for the symphony playing cello. They all go to the General Baptist church over on Chelsea. Ester's got a beautiful voice and when he's home, she and Reggie sing in the choir. He likes the color red and swimming. He cheats at Scrabble and any other game we play and laughs when I catch him at it. He's a good friend, Jim." 

"You know his family?" 

"Yeah. I spent Thanksgiving with them when we were together." 

"How long were you two together?" 

"Almost six months. Actually we broke up right before Christmas that year." 

Jim moved to the chair across from Blair and slumped down, straining to keep himself together. "Because he wanted commitment and you didn't?" 

"Yeah." 

"And he shows up now after all this time and expects to just pick up where you two left off?" 

"Something like that." 

Jim remained quiet for a few moments, but then leaned forward and put his beer on the table. He kept his voice steady. "Tell me what you want me to say here, Chief. You want me to be happy for you? You want to settle down with this guy and you expect me to be your best man? What?" 

Pain flickered across his features as Blair met his gaze. "What I'd really like is for you to tell me what you feel." 

"I feel like I've been kicked in the gut." 

"No, Jim. Tell me how you really feel about me." 

Sitting back, Jim stared at his friend. One part of his brain hunkered down in terror while the other half begged him to finally tell the truth. "You know how I feel about you, Blair. You're my best friend, my partner, my guide. Nobody knows me like you do. Nobody." Swallowing hard, Jim tested his voice. "How do you feel about me?" 

"I love you, Jim. If you don't know that by now, I don't know what else I can do to show you." 

"But you love this Reggie person more?" 

"No, I don't, and that's the problem." 

Air whooshed from his lungs and Jim smiled before he could stop himself. "Why is that a problem?" 

"Because he loves me. He still wants me." Blair stood up and came closer. He knelt by the chair, his eyes never leaving Jim's. Taking the older man's hand, he whispered, "I want to be wanted, Jim. It feels good to know someone cares about me that much. The problem is, I want that with you and not him." 

Words failed him at first as Jim reached out and cupped the side of his guide's face, the stubble a raw burn against his palm. Eyes stinging, Jim cleared his throat. "I want that, too." 

"Do you?" 

"Yeah, Chief, I do. I don't know why it took something like this to make me say it." 

"Because you're a stubborn son of a bitch, maybe?" 

Smiling, Jim shrugged. "Maybe." Clasping Blair's hand harder, Jim pulled his partner around the side of the chair and up into his lap. Holding him tightly, pushing back his curls, he captured the full lips. Slick heat rushed to his cock as he plundered the eager mouth, the soft whimpers sending fire to his belly. 

Blair pulled back, his voice husky. "Let's take this upstairs." 

Jim studied Blair's flushed, serious face, his finger tracing the edge of his jaw. "I've never done this before, not with a man." 

"Never?" 

"Never even thought about it. I could give you a long list of women who turned me on, but never a man until you." Pausing, Jim brushed his lips against Blair's briefly, his eyes shut as he spoke in a hush. "I don't have a clue why this is happening, but I don't care. I love you." 

Blair caressed the side of his face. "Jim, are you sure about this? I mean, this is going to totally change our lives." 

"I should hope so." Jim floated on the rush of sniffing Blair's scent, so familiar and safe, and then halted at the whiff of stranger. The idea of Blair with another man pissed him off, but he had no one to blame but himself. "Let's go to bed. I want you." Growling, Jim nudged Blair off his lap. "Now!" 

With no further argument, Blair took his hand and led him up the stairs to the bedroom. Guiding him to sit on the edge of the mattress, Blair stood back and stripped off his own clothes first, the sight of his hairy chest making Jim's cock even harder. When he finally stood naked, he smiled. "Hurry up, Jim. Take it off and let me see you. I want to see the whole package." 

Still stunned at seeing his friend completely nude and ready, his erection bobbing up from a nest of dark curls, Jim stood and clumsily unbuttoned his shirt. An amused laugh tickled his ears as Blair stepped closer and helped out, peeling off the clothes a lot faster than he could. Hands gently pushed him and he landed on his back on the bed, the mattress bouncing beneath him. It dipped as Blair shoved his legs apart and knelt between his spread thighs. Expert hands palmed his chest as the younger man leaned in and kissed him, their tongues wrestling, his spicy flavor singing Jim's lips. Working his way down, Blair nibbled at his neck, alternating between nips and sucking, taking his time with his nipples. Groaning and twisting, Jim relished the sweep of fire all through his muscles, his cock and balls begging for attention. Hands rubbed all up and down his sides and then worked between his legs, one hand fondling his balls, the other stroking his cock like magic. 

Breathing ragged, his brain widened along a plane of light far away and spreading out in waves. A great sweep of pleasure sizzled his spine and he arched up as Blair's mouth captured his cock. An explosion rocked him, his hands grabbing his lover's head as he screamed with release, the flood like perfection. His legs trembled as he survived the firestorm racing along his nerves and gut. Nothing prepared him for the lovely string of kisses Blair delivered as he stretched out to hold him, to draw him into a loving embrace like no other. Eyes still squeezed shut, tears burning at the edges, Jim hugged his lover and tried to control the shaking, the deep quiver that ravaged his body. 

"Jim? Man, are you okay?" 

Words still breathy, Jim smiled. "Better than okay." 

"Been a while, huh?" 

"You could say that." Jim lowered his hand to find Blair's cock spent and resting. "I'm sorry. I don't usually come that fast. I didn't do much to help out." 

"I got off when you did. Just sucking you made me hot. You'll do more next time." Blair paused, his voice soft and hesitant, almost shy. "There will be a next time, right?" 

"For us, yes. For you and Reggie, no way." 

Nodding, Blair rested his head against Jim's chest, his curls a sweet tickle to his sweaty skin. "I need to tell him." 

For the first time, Jim felt sorry for his rival. "When?" 

"I'll call him tonight." 

"You can't tell him on the phone." 

"I know." 

"I could go with you." 

"No, you couldn't." 

"You're right, but I could drive you and stay in the truck." 

Blair lifted his head, a faint smile on his face as he teased Jim's lips with his finger. "And you wouldn't listen?" 

"No, Chief, I wouldn't listen. I don't need to hear a grown man cry." 

Blair's grin faded as he settled back down into Jim's arms. "Maybe I should wait until tomorrow." 

"No, tonight. The sooner the better." 

"Why?" 

"I don't want you to change your mind." 

Blair snorted and shook his head, his hand drawing lazy circles on Jim's belly. "No chance of that, Jim. No chance at all." 

* * *

"Come in, man." Reggie opened the door and ushered him in. Dressed in sweats and a thin, over-sized T-shirt, he closed the door as he motioned towards the sofa. "Have a seat. I'll get us something to drink." 

"That's okay, Reg. I can't stay." 

Eyes narrowed and Reggie crossed his arms around himself. "What's this about, Blair? You sounded pretty intense on the phone. Has something happened?" 

Standing in the middle of the living room, Blair ran a nervous hand through his curls, wishing he could avoid the hurt inherent in his words. "Yeah, something important. I didn't plan it, but in a way I owe it to you." 

"Owe what to me?" 

"Jim and I, well, we sort of got together tonight after I told him about you." 

"Fuck. You're kidding, right?" 

"No, man, I'm not kidding." 

"Son of a bitch." 

"I'm sorry." 

Pain contorted his lover's features as he walked away, standing in front of the back patio window. It took several long moments before Reggie broke the silence. "I wish I could hate him." 

"You don't mean that." 

"Sure I do. Motherfucker has what I've always wanted, a good man who'll love him no matter what. Fuck, yeah, I wish I could hate him for taking you away, but I can't do that. You want to know why?" 

"Why?" 

"Because I know you. You wouldn't be with him if he wasn't worth fucking me over like this." 

Stepping closer, his heart stung by the words, Blair kept his voice steady. "I'm not fucking you over, Reggie. I still have feelings for you. I always will, but I never lied to you about how much I loved Jim." 

"But you said he was straight." 

"I thought he was. So did he. Tonight it didn't seem to matter." 

"I don't want to hear this." 

"I'm sorry." 

"Yeah, well, that and a case of wine might make me feel better, but not much." 

Hesitant, Blair touched his shoulder only to have Reggie turn and pull away. The taller man sighed and walked over to the couch. He sagged down, letting his head fall back as he closed his eyes. "I never got a chance to tell you about my book." Blair remained quiet, but sat down in the chair at the end of the sofa. "It's called KISSING THE HAMMER." 

"Interesting title." 

"You think so?" 

"Yeah. What's it about, your time in Africa?" 

"It's about us, those six months we were together. You're the hammer, my friend." 

Chilled, Blair swallowed hard, disturbed by the confession. "You can't be serious." 

"I am. I mean, the characters are Robert and Ben, but it's us." 

"Why would you do that?" 

Reggie opened his eyes and sat up, a tear escaping before he could wipe it away. "You have no idea how much you hurt me when you dumped me, man. Traveling didn't seem to help, so I thought I'd try writing. It did more than help. It made me see clearly how much I still love you. I can't help how I feel, Blair. Don't think that stops just because you've moved on, because it won't ever be over for me." 

Stunned, Blair shook his head. "I don't know what to say, Reggie. You know I never meant to hurt you, then or now. I'm really sorry it's come to this." 

"Me, too, man. After this afternoon, I was actually foolish enough to think you still fucking cared. But you haven't changed. You're still the selfish prick you always were, always just thinking of yourself." 

The words stabbed his heart worse than any real knife. "If I'm such a prick, why love me?" 

"Has Jim ever been a prick?" 

"Yeah, but we're all pricks sometimes." 

"But it doesn't change how you feel about him, right? It's the same for me. I can't help how I feel. I love you and I always will." 

"Believe it or not, I love you, too, Reggie, but not like I love Jim. I don't know what else to say to make it better." 

"How about goodbye? I think you should leave." 

Both men stood slowly and Reggie walked behind him as they moved to the door. Blair hesitated and met solemn eyes. "I'd still like to be friends." 

"Not now. I can't handle that right now, Blair. Just go home." 

"I understand. You know where to find me if you ever need to talk." 

Reggie opened the door, his face grim, his voice shaky. "I'll probably stop by to see my mom tomorrow and leave town Monday. No reason to stay. I'll tell her you said hello." 

"Where will you go?" 

"Does it matter?" 

"Reggie, please, I hate leaving like this." 

"And I hate losing you, so let it go. Go to Jim and be happy." 

"You mean that?" 

"Yeah, I do. Now, say goodbye so I can fall apart in peace." 

"Goodbye, Reg. I'll miss you." 

Blair stood very still as Reggie cupped his face, leaning in and kissing his lips lightly. Without saying another word, his lover closed the door, the click of the lock as deafening as it was final. 

* * *

"God, I'm such an asshole." 

Jim handed Blair a beer and settled on the sofa beside him. "Did Watters call you that?" 

Taking a deep swallow, Blair closed his eyes, relishing the warmth of Jim's hand massaging his neck gently. "No. He called me a prick and he's right, I am." 

"No, you're not. He was just hurt." 

"Because of me." Jim kissed his temple and then leaned his forehead against Blair's head, remaining quiet, waiting patiently. "Jim?" 

"Yeah?" 

"He's written a book." 

"A book?" 

"About us." 

Jim sat up and frowned. "Us? Us as in you and him?" 

"Yeah. I haven't read it, but I just thought you should know." 

Shrugging, Jim hugged Blair closer and sighed. "Well, excuse me if I don't stand in line for the autographed copy." 

"It doesn't bother you?" 

"Of course it bothers me, but there's nothing I can do about it. Besides, he's got the book and I've got you. I figure I came out the winner." 

Blair chuckled and put the beer on the side table before turning sideways to rest against his lover. Strong arms held him and warded off the chilly memories. He hated hurting Reggie, but he loved Jim. He smiled as he remembered Jim's declaration earlier that evening. Snuggling in closer, he whispered, "I love you, Jim." 

"Same here, Chief." Jim nuzzled the top of Blair's head and practically purred. "Why don't we go upstairs and start our first chapter?" 

"First chapter?" 

"Hey, we're both pretty book-worthy if you ask me." 

Blair shook his head in amusement and stood up, reaching out to pull Jim to his feet. "Actually, I think we're going to be too busy to do much writing." As Blair leaned in, he kissed Jim and whispered, "Way too busy." 

"Slave driver." 

Blair patted Jim's ass playfully and laughed. "Kinky, Jim, but I like it. Now, upstairs and let's play tough cop learns to take orders." 

Jim didn't hesitate and Blair followed, binding his pledge to the one man who mattered, fearlessly sharing their love forever. 

*************The end 

* * *

End Competition by Grey: grey853@aol.com

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Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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